ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
