i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
