Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
