He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
