What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
