She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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