i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
