I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
