Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
