and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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