I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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