Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
