We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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