But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
