He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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