Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if only i could text you this smell
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
