I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
