oh god the rape fog is back!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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