I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
