I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
