you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
