Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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