Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
