what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
