So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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