Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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