yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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