I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize