Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
