i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
