Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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