id be glad to
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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