I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
