I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
