I'm so fucking centered right now
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
