2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
