I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
