I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
