It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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