Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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