Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
