So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
