That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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