is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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