i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
