Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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