WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
its liver damage thursday
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
