Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
