so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
