i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
