No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
