Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
