Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
