I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
