Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.

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(386): View more from Florida

I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...

(1-386): View more from Florida

thanks for that.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive

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(703): View more from Virginia

You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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(404): View more from Georgia

His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing

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(585): View more from New York

He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.

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