Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
