Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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