hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
