so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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