Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
