i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Enjoy the penises
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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