I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
