sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
