i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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