I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish you could order shots online.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize