yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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