Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
